The law is changing to make flexible working more widely available. Good. It helps people balance their work and home lives and chips away at the idea that working harder is the solution to every problem. But maybe, just maybe, making it available to everyone isn’t enough?
Here’s six jobs where it should be compulsory.
1. Digital media planners
How much advertising is too much? It’s not enough to have it on every webpage, next to every Facebook post and before every YouTube clip (and scrolling along the bottom to distract you while are you watching it). No, here comes Google with a device to allow media planners to intrude directly into your eyes. If they aren’t given a permanent short week, they’ll be able to realise their ambition of projecting adverts straight into your brain while you sleep.
We don’t need bus or train conductors these days, apparently. Machines can do all that. And yet there’s still a full-time role for people in morning suits waving around a piece of balsa wood. Is there really not an Xbox hack that can let members of the public conduct the Last Night of the Proms from home? Browse our selection of logistics jobs.
3. Members of Parliament (MP)
“I put it to the honourable gentleman that, if being an MP was made a part-time job, members of his house could get out into the world and get some valuable work experience, learning about important business skills like making and keeping promises, giving straight answers and filing out expenses claims honestly. All in favour, say aye.”
4. Boy and girl bands
Should be limited to no more than three months of activity a year. The rest is for singing lessons.
5. Premier League football players
At the end of the day, they run around for 90 minutes a week. Put them on part-time hours and cut their pay accordingly. Take a look at our current sports roles on offer.
6. Managers. All of them
Anyone with the authority to hand out work should only be allowed in the office from Tuesday to Thursday. Not only would it stop them spoiling Mondays and Fridays, but it might also make them more open to the idea that staff don’t need to be chained to their desks to be effective…